Do you ever feel lonely? I do.
But I know I am not alone in my aloneness.
The human race has been plagued with this malady ever since the fall of mankind, and now with this forced isolation from the Covid-19 pandemic—we feel all the more alone!
There are many reasons why someone might feel lonely—even when not actually alone. I have “good” reason to feel lonely. I’m a widow, live alone, and still relatively new in my geographical area. But do I have to be continually beleaguered with these feelings?
In fact, you and I need not be controlled by any emotion. Being an emotional yo-yo, I’ve had lots of experience and opportunities to demonstrate that victory is won through Christ.
Here are 8 Tips in Overcoming Loneliness
1. Address the Source
For me, when I experience loneliness I feel that:
- No one cares.
- I don’t belong.
- I have no value.
But these feelings are not based on truth! They are a byproduct of dwelling on the negative. Just because someone doesn’t call, visit, or whatever does NOT mean they do not care. People do care. And even if they didn’t, God does! I do have value. I am precious in His sight. I belong to Him. He bought me with His own Son’s blood. He is always with me (Mat 28:20).
On these facts, I must focus. That is the second key in overcoming times of loneliness:
2. Focus on God and the Truth
Think about what is true (Phil 4:8). Speak it to your soul—with conviction and out loud if possible. (See My Egg Story for an example of how to do this)
3. We All Feel Lonely at Times
Even our precious Savior experienced loneliness.
“But a time is coming…. when you will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” (Jn 16:32)
Feeling lonely is not a sin. It’s simply part of being human in a fallen world. It becomes a sin when we let it control our actions.
4. Focus on Others
Get involved with people. Attend functions, invite others to get together, volunteer, communicate with people (and not just electronically!). Even during this pandemic we can stay connected by phone or tele-conferencing.
5. Turn it Around
Use your loneliness for good. Reach out to those who are also lonely. You’ll be able to empathize. Trust me—being an instrument to encourage another soul will help dispel all feelings of loneliness!
Being alone is a good thing for me because I am a writer and need that time to fulfill my God-given calling.
6. Stay Productive
—especially in regards to fulfilling your God-given purpose. When I am carrying out God’s will for my life I feel significant and all feelings of loneliness are dissipated. What productive things can you do with your alone time?
7. Make Right Choices
Don’t add to your loneliness by trying to fill that emptiness with things, food, drugs, entertainment, unhealthy relationships, etc. Fill it with the only One who can truly satisfy—Christ. This will take major effort!
“The greatest challenge is to get over the initial hurdle. At such times [in feeling lonely] one does not feel like [doing the right thing] …but I find that when I take the step of faith to do what I know I should do, my feelings begin to change.”1
8. Stay Close to Your Redeemer
Read your Bible, think about God, praise Him. In so doing, you’ll be able to sense His presence more frequently and not feel alone. I have found sensing God’s presence is my most effective defense against loneliness.
To summarize we can simply say…
Get your eyes off yourself!
So my friends, whatever the cause of your loneliness, if you employ these principles you may have occasional visits of feeling lonely, but you won’t live there!
To help you achieve this, I have a new resource for you: 10 Tips to Increase Your Awareness of God’s Presence. You can get your free copy here.
1David Jeremiah Overcoming Loneliness p 107
Photo by Alex Holyoake on Unsplash
Scripture taken from The Holy Bible: New International Version®. NIV. ® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
This Post Has 6 Comments
Good Morning Rose:
Thank you for this message this morning!
God used your words to convict and heal!
And, your words were exactly what I needed on this particular morning of my deceased husbands’s birthday , as I read your words,
I am a widow , I am alone, no one cares!
LOL! I am smiling so big at the tender hearted caring of our Lord and Savior!
God Bless you
Thank you, Carol. It is hard being a widow at times. PTL He is more than enough! Even in not having a mate here on earth.
May your mind be filled with good and wonderful memories of your husband today, thanking God for each one of them.
Thank you so much for this very timely wisdom. Thank you for encouraging us to refocus our attention on the Lord and our many blessings. May the Lord continue to bless you richly!
Thank you so much, Karen!
I have felt this way even in a crowd I am a widow of 14 years??I know that God has brought me through a lot of things I know he is always with me. I finally had to go to a counselor and he was a good Christian man. I guess most of my feelings was I remarried a year after my husbands death. I had to learn how to forgive myself and forgive others and did my life of people that were negative. I don’t love the man I married I thought I needed someone but all I needed was God. We have been married for fourteen years and it is only by the grace of God and not believing in divorce. So till the Lord calls one of us home we will be companions. Thank you for the wisdom that God has given you. Prayers for continued work for Him.
Hi Georgia. I too know the pain of making the mistake of following my feelings instead of God. The wonderful thing is that God can turn even our mistakes around and use them for His glory. USE your mistake, don’t just learn from it. Use it to help others to follow God’s way.
I believe the blog series on Knowing God’s Will may be of help and interest to you. https://heisworthit.com/how-to-know-gods-will-part-1/
I know God’s grace will continue to sustain you in your marriage.