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Help For Us Emotional Yoyos: 7 Keys to Effectively Manage Your Emotions

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Are you an emotional yoyo like me? Up and down in how you feel? Thinking you are destined to act in accordance with your mood?

What are we to do?! Is there no hope for us?

More than 10 years ago I became sick and tired of being dominated by my feelings, but I didn’t know how to change; didn’t know where to go for answers. There’s a lot of psychobabble and false teaching out there. I was afraid I would be putting more wrong information into an already messed up mind.

Knowing my desperation for change, the Lord led me to the best place to find answers in controlling your emotions: the bible. There I found true answers and I must pass these freeing discoveries on to you.

7 Keys to Effectively Manage Your Emotions

Last time I gave you the first two keys in dealing with your emotions the right way.

1. Admit, accept and submit your tendencies for God’s purposes.

2. Let truth lead instead of your emotions.

Here are 5 more keys to help you take control over your feelings.

3. Understand what emotions are.

  • Always follow thought; only responders.
  • Have no intellect; not rational
  • Cannot tell the difference between past and present, i.e. memory can trigger past-felt emotions.

4. Understand what emotions are not.

  • Not the truth; unreliable source of information
  • Not to be denied, but dealt with
  • Not a guide to make decisions or to determine God’s will; feelings often cloud our judgement.

We must be careful not to mistake our feelings for the Holy Spirit’s leading. Unfortunately, I have done this and have suffered the consequences.

Spare yourself needless pain and let God lead you—not your feelings!

  • Not a sin

It isn’t wrong to feel sad or discouraged. This was a huge piece of the puzzle for me. I used to believe that if I didn’t always have the joy of the Lord I was sinning. That just made me feel worse! Jesus wept; agonized in the garden. And we know He didn’t sin! So how do we reconcile these two seemingly contradicting truths?

It’s what we do with those emotions that count.

  • Not an excuse to sin.

Sorry, “I just couldn’t help it!” mentality doesn’t cut it with God!

5. Emotions are only one facet of our being.

“Man is like a diamond with its many facets. Those facets are not separate entities, yet they reflect various aspects of the whole.  They may serve similar or overlapping functions, yet they are distinguishable.  They are not parts; they are aspects, facets, faces of the whole.”*

Aspects include soul, spirit, heart, conscience, mind, flesh, and will.

6. There are many factors influencing our feelings.

Thoughts, past experiences, personality/temperament, and health are just a few of them. Some of these we can change; others we cannot.

We can look at these factors and work on the ones we can change. What we cannot change we can accept by humbling ourselves and surrendering it to the Lord. (=Key #1)

Most of us have seen this Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

7. Trust God to do His part.

God doesn’t want you to be controlled by your emotions; He wants to be LORD over your emotions. In fact, you need His power.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness….
(2 Pet 1:3)

So ask God to let Him manage your emotions. It is His will and desire. And if you ask anything according to His will, you will receive it (Jn 16:23)—only give Him time to work!

My friends, I’ve only touched the surface. But it is enough to get you started! Click to find more scriptures on managing emotions

To go even deeper, check out my Managing Emotions Seminar and Workshops.

 

*Ryrie Basic Theology

Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.  NIV®.  Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica.  All rights reserved worldwide

 

I’ll Always Be an Emotional YO-YO and How I Deal with It

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I have to face it! I’ll always be an emotional yo-yo—up and down in what I’m feeling. I want to stay high or at least even-keeled, happy, and always at peace. But that’s an unrealistic goal for me—at least in this fallen world. I must learn to deal with it.

Maybe some of you are like me? (Perhaps we should form our own Yo-yo’s Anonymous group!)

I don’t like being so easily moved by my feelings. Nevertheless, that is the way God created me, and my Maker doesn’t make mistakes. Understanding my makeup was my first step in dealing with it—God’s way. I used to see my emotionality as a curse. Now I am wiser; my perspective has changed. The reality:

 It is both a strength and a weakness.

I am passionate, enthusiastic, and motivated. I get a lot of things done. I love and feel deeply. I am sensitive. I experience great joys and excitement.

Yet I easily get discouraged, hurt, disappointed, and flustered. Impatience is one of my biggest enemies. Depression comes knocking often. “Scaredy cat” is my middle name.

I could use my makeup as an excuse; rationalizing away poor responses. I could have a big pity party when I fail and stay in a defeated pit, or become prideful with success. I could retreat into my shell when hurt. I could make joy my ultimate goal and repeatedly flop.

OR

I can admit, accept and submit my tendencies for God’s purposes.

I can’t change what I feel, but I can change what I do.

I can respond by letting truth lead me instead of my emotions.

Without an awareness or admission of my propensities, I remain unguarded; vulnerable to satanic attack. Satan used to have a field day with me. Now I am aware of his conniving schemes (2 Cor 2:11). I truly don’t have to let my emotions control me; making me sin and reducing my impact for God’s Kingdom!

But I cannot do this on my own! I need the power of God and gratefully it is available (2 Cor 10:4-5, 2 Pet 1:3-4).

Under God’s control these tendencies can be used for His glory; under my control, they result in “yo-yoness.”

I am learning how to better manage my emotional state. My highs are still high, occur more frequently and last longer. My lows are not as low (usually), happen less often, and are shorter—IF I choose to submit myself to God and abide in Him consistently.

I am definitely more emotionally stable now. I have had significant victory in Christ over my emotions. But to think it’ll ever come naturally for me—that’s a pipe dream. I will always have to put out major effort—even fight—so as to not be overwhelmed and consumed by my feelings. I will always be a yoyo. But that’s ok because God loves me just the way He made me.

What are your propensities? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Do some prayerful soul searching. You may not be an emotional yoyo, but be honest with who you are. Accept it and allow God to use your makeup for His glory. It is a much better way to live!

My friends, I originally published this blog in 2016. It’s content is so pertinent to the message of He’s So Worth It Ministries that I had to resurface it.

If you are an emotional person and have trouble in dealing with your feelings, may I encourage you to let me help you? I am going full force with offering emotions workshops and seminars. They have helped many women and I believe God wants me to help more of you. Please visit my How to Handle Your Emotions God’s Way page for more information.  

Laying Down Our Feelings Produces BETTER Feelings

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Raging emotions. They cause such havoc in our lives; frequently leading us to sinful responses against God and others! It isn’t wrong to feel angry, but it is to retaliate. But it’s such a fight, often requiring every ounce of our being not to succumb!

So how do we keep our joy and peace from being stolen away from us (Jn 10:10)? One of the secrets lies in understanding this:

Laying down our feelings on the altar produces better feelings.

When I surrender control of my emotions, a better type of feelings wells up deep within my soul. Choosing to lay them down is pleasing to God because it is an act of worship (Rom 12:1). God communicates to me that He is pleased with my desire not to sin—not only in words from His Word, but with a deep sense of His presence. It’s the sweetest communion I know. C.S. Lewis said,

“…It is in the process of being worshiped that God communicates His presence to men.”

Let me clarify something here. I shouldn’t relinquish control to get better feelings. Feeling good should never be the goal. However, good relationships involve both giving and receiving. And oh, how God loves to give and shower blessings upon His obedient children! God always fulfills His part of the relationship perfectly. Couldn’t we reciprocate by giving up our way of handling emotions as an act of worship and sacrificial love? He is worthy of it.

When we surrender control to the Holy Spirit, God can then manifest Himself in and through us. What results is a better type of feeling. In fact, these good feelings are more than just emotions. They are a byproduct of abiding in Christ, and the fruit of the Holy Spirit (John 15:11; Gal 5:22).

The Lord gives us these wonderful “feelings” to help us do, and keep doing, the right thing, especially when it’s tough.

Nothing pleases me more than knowing I’ve put a smile on my Savior’s face. That certainly wasn’t true in the beginning of my walk with Jesus. But the more I grew in my knowledge and understanding of God, the more awesome and important He became to me. The more I realized my own sinfulness and unworthiness next to His holiness, the more my love for Him grew. And therefore the more I wanted to please and obey Him.

Sacrificing is easier when we love someone.

As I increasingly attempted to humble myself, God increasingly revealed Himself—not just with more knowledge of Him, but with His presence and all that goes along with that. His revelation led to more humility and awareness of how much I fall short and how truly blessed I am! It’s a wonderful cycle.

God has changed my selfish heart of needing and thinking I deserve to feel good 

to

I don’t deserve to feel this good.

So my friends, when you are in the middle of overwhelming emotions, picture laying them on the altar (preferably before you sin) as an act of worship. Your God will reward you with better feelings! It will be worth it for He is worth it!

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies [includes emotions] as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. (Rom 12:1)

 

1 C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms (New York: Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, 1958), 193.

THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.  NIV®.  Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica.  All rights reserved worldwide.

Copyright © 2021 He's So Worth It Ministries

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