I remember it ever so clearly. It was 4 years ago at a Christ Life Ministries’ Ladies Prayer Advance. I was plagued with doubts and uncertainties because the Lord was compelling me to move forward with He’s So Worth It Ministries.
I was afraid because I am a perfectionist. I knew I was going to make mistakes. I was distraught when I shouldn’t have been. I know better! I know that no one is perfect—except my Savior. So that caused me to beat myself up even more. That’s certainly not being a woman of faith, which is what I desperately want to be!
Couple that with a great sense of inadequacy and you have one pathetic creature!
During my Sweet Hour of Prayer that weekend, I cried out to the Lord… “Why am I so fearful? Is it because I’m afraid:
- I will fail you?
- Misread You?
- Mis-speak You?
- Misrepresent You?
- Do Your work with impure motives?
- Fall short in countless ways?”
Then I “heard” Jesus speak ever so clearly into my heart, “Even so, I forgive, I forgive, I forgive….
“But I will minimize the number of your failures if you:
- Keep close to Me so you can discern My leading.
- Keep surrendering.
- Keep repenting when you do fail.
- Keep going forward in faith.
- Keep believing in Me and My ability and trust Me.
- Keep persevering to the end—whether it’s 1 day, 1 year, or 30 years.”
I cannot be perfect no matter how hard I try! And I cannot be a woman of faith unless I fully depend upon God. God doesn’t want us to live in fear but in faith. He wants to take our weaknesses and show the world what glorious things He can do!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12:9)
Look, it’s ok to want to be like Jesus, the Perfect One. In fact, we are commanded to be. Nevertheless, we must realize we will always fall short of that goal! God knows that. It is the very reason why He sent His flawless Son.
“Oh Jesus, please turn this pathetic creature, this jellyfish, into a mountain goat so I can jump and scale the high places with You!” (That’s a reference from Hinds’ Feet on High Places—my favorite book outside the Bible. See my last blog.)
Don’t let your fear of failure keep you from moving forward. Don’t add that to your list of regrets. Instead, pray this with me:
Lord, make me faithful not fearful!
But…God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him…. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” (1 Cor 1:27-29, 31)
I used to think that Jesus was pushing me forward in this ministry, but that was a greatly flawed perspective. He was actually inviting me to join Him on a great adventure to the high places; to accomplish amazing things for His Kingdom of Love; to see a glimpse of His glory.
I am so glad I accepted His invitation to the high places. Will you?
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Until next time, my friends, ask God to help you be faithful not fearful. Let Him transform us jellyfishes into mountain goats so we can go on the high places!
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