Christmas Gift Guidelines–with a Twist!

frog in shopping cart holding a list

It’s that time of year again–when we give presents to the people we care about. But it’s difficult to know what the best gift is for someone. Let me help by giving you my…

Christmas Gift Guidelines–with a Twist

Here are gift categories you should consider before making your purchase.

The Totally Useless Gift

  • A wool hat for your missionary aunt in Uganda.
  • A surf board for your brother who lives in Kansas

The What is it? Gift

A teenager giving his 90-year-old grandmother a smart phone.

The “I don’t know what I was thinking!” Gift

A senile husband giving his wife a rental DVD when they didn’t even own a DVD player.

The “I don’t know what YOU were thinking!” Gift

An animated Singing & Dancing Moose for $56.99 or a Two Person Ugly Christmas Sweater: Naughty & Nice for $69.95 from*

I guarantee you that the words “How could you waste money on that?!” will be ringing in your ears for quite some time!

The “Oh no, not again!” Gift

Like Grandma’s fruitcake.

The Totally Thoughtless and Inconsiderate Gift

Giving a diabetic sweets.

The Totally Selfish Gift

A high society lady gave her sister, Mary, a beautiful pink scarf. “Oh,” said Mary, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “Why did you give me this color? You know I don’t look good in pink with my red hair.” The sister responded, “Because I look fabulous in pink and I might want to borrow it sometime.”

The “How could you?” Gift

Once my in-laws gave their dog, Boots, boots for Christmas. It was hilarious but so sad. Boots just stood there, unmoving, with the most pathetic look on his face as if to say “How could you do this to me? I feel so betrayed!”

The “Honey, I think we made a mistake!” Gift.

When my husband was young, he and his brother got toy swords for Christmas. Five minutes later–so I’m told–his parents  permanently took them away because they were in the process of really hurting each other!

The It doesn’t matter Gift

Some people are never happy no matter what they get. Take this story of a family who had twin boys–opposite in every way. One was an optimist, the other a complete pessimist. One Christmas their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly. “Why are you crying?” the father asked. “Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can play, and I’ll constantly need batteries!”

Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. “What are you so happy about?” he asked. His son gleefully exclaimed, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Worst Gifts

  • Bathroom scale
  • Diet cook book
  • Hair dye

Best Gifts

  • Kids: batteries
  • Teenager: the latest electronic gaming system
  • Wife: Macy’s gift card
  • Man: The latest TV with the best picture, and un-interrupted time to watch football.
  • Everyone: Yourself—your love, kindness, time, and laughter.

 “The best of all presents around a Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.” Burton Hillis


The BEST gift ever is Jesus!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (Jn 3:16)

He’s all we need or should want for Christmas!!! 

So my friends, I hope my Christmas Gift Guidelines have made you laugh. Be mindful of others and your wallet as you figure out the best presents to give. And don’t forget to put Jesus on your list of recipients. What does Jesus want from you this Christmas? You won’t find that in a store! Stay tuned for next week’s blog for ideas on that! 

Merry Christmas everyone, and to all a good shopping!


*This website no longer exists, but other ones—far worse do. Please do not waste any time and effort looking them up!

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Originally posted 12/16/2020