Having the Right Expectations - He's So Worth It Ministries

Have you ever been disappointed? That’s a stupid question! Life is full of disappointments, like:

The weather spoiling your vacation
Your child doing poorly in school
Expecting a romantic night with your husband who spent it watching football instead
A friend going back on her word
God not answering your prayer in the way you wanted

One that I often struggle with is when a book I slaved over just isn’t selling as expected, even though others have given it rave reviews.

There’s nothing wrong with having expectations. Expect means to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of. It implies a confident belief.

But our problem is the way we respond when our expectations don’t pan out. I used to get so bent out of shape when what “should” have happened, didn’t. Not only did I find myself disappointed, but discontented and complaining. No one was happy—not my husband or those around me, not myself, and certainly not God! God told me…

Sometimes our expectations are unfounded, because they’re based only on what we wish. Other times, they are based on right assumptions. Like when a Christian doesn’t act like a Christian. Where “They shouldn’t have done that!” is a true statement. It’s not only what you didn’t want or expect, it’s not what God wanted either.

So how do we deal with these unavoidable let downs?

We need to have the RIGHT expectations

The Lord has shown me that one of the keys to being content is to decrease our expectations of self, others, and life but to increase our expectations of God. Let me try to explain what I mean.

Perfectionists (like myself) often place unrealistic high demands on themselves and others. They plan and try to control the outcome. They want everything to be—well, perfect.

Planning is good. Paying attention to detail is admirable. But nothing is perfect this side of heaven. Only Jesus is perfect. Striving for excellence is way better than perfectionism and is God-honoring (Col 3:23).

Having wrong or idealistic expectations only robs us of joy and can be destructive to those around us, especially our kids.

Our expectations need to be on God not on anything or anyone else. We live in a fallen world where life isn’t fair and people sin. We are to look to Him for our needs and desires to be filled. With eyes focused correctly, we’ll be able to quickly adjust and regain our contentedness when life is disappointing. God is the perfect Planner. If we look to Him, we won’t be disappointed (Is 49:23).

When we believe something should happen it’s like saying we’re in charge. We need to let go of our expectations, our desires, legitimate as they may be, and act like God is the One in control (because He is)—then life won’t be as disappointing. We’ll be able to enjoy life to the fullest, despite our expectations not being fully met. We can enjoy the present moment even if it’s not the ideal moment.

Releasing control, accepting whatever happens, and trusting that our Father knows best is a much better way to live!

Now let me clarify something here.

Our expectations of God must never be demanding, even if it’s based on His promises. That’s not being humble. We can boldly and with confident faith ask for things according to His Word. And God will answer. You can expect Him to be true to His Word and not let you down. Just don’t expect Him to necessarily answer in your way and timing. That’s arrogant presumption. God will not tolerate such an attitude!

My friend, don’t live life expecting it to be ideal, based on what you want or think should happen. Rather have the right expectations and live a life of love and self-giving—focused on God and others. And God will bless you beyond your wildest imagination.

Life is full of the unexpected. Embrace it!

Our eyes are on You, Oh Lord!

Updated post, originally posted January 2018