Do you ever feel lonely? I sure do. But I know I am not alone in my aloneness! The human race has been plagued with this malady ever since the fall of mankind, and after the Covid-19 pandemic—even more! There are many reasons why someone might feel lonely—even when not actually alone. I have “good” reason to feel lonely. I’m a widow, live alone, and still relatively new in my geographical area. But do I have to be continually beleaguered with feelings of loneliness? NO! |
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In fact, you and I need not be controlled by any emotion. Being an emotional yo-yo, I’ve had lots of experience and opportunities to demonstrate that victory is won through Christ. So here are 8 tips to help you and I gain victory in Christ.
8 Tips in Overcoming Loneliness
1. Address the Source/Root Cause
When I experience loneliness I often feel like:
~No one cares
~I have no value
~I don’t belong
But these feelings are not based on truth! They are a byproduct of dwelling on the negative. Just because someone doesn’t call, visit, or whatever does NOT mean they do not care. People do care. And even if they didn’t, God does!
You and I do have value. We are precious in His sight (Is 43:4) https://amzn.to/3LuiUvX. We are so valuable that Christ bought us with His own blood (1 Cor 6:20). We belong to Christ and He is always with us (Mat 28:20).
On these facts, you and I must focus. That’s the second key in overcoming times of loneliness.
2. Focus on God and the Truth
Think about what is true (Phil 4:8). Speak it to your soul—with conviction and out loud if possible. (See My Egg Story for an example of how to do this)
3. Focus on Others
Get involved with people. Attend functions, invite others to get together, volunteer, communicate with people (and not just electronically!). Don’t isolate yourself and have a pity-party. That’s no fun!
You may be surprised with the friends you’ll make if you try to reach out first. If you want a friend be a friend.
4. Understand that We All Feel Lonely at Times
Even our precious Savior experienced loneliness.
“But a time is coming…. when you will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” (Jn 16:32)
Feeling lonely is not a sin. It’s simply part of being human in a fallen world. It becomes a sin when we let it control our actions.
5. Turn it Around
Use your loneliness for good. Reach out to those who are also lonely. You’ll be able to empathize. Trust me—being an instrument to encourage another soul will help dispel all feelings of loneliness!
For me, being alone is a good thing because I am a writer and need that alone time to fulfill my God-given calling.
6. Stay Productive
This is especially relevant in regards to fulfilling your God-given purpose. When I am carrying out God’s will for my life, I feel significant and all feelings of loneliness are dissipated. What productive things can you do with your alone time?
7. Make Right Choices
Don’t add to your loneliness by trying to fill your emptiness with things, food, drugs, entertainment, unhealthy relationships, etc. Fill it with the only One who can truly satisfy—Christ. This will take major effort!
“The greatest challenge is to get over the initial hurdle. At such times [in feeling lonely] one does not feel like [doing the right thing] …but I find that when I take the step of faith to do what I know I should do, my feelings begin to change.”1
8. Stay close to Your Redeemer
Read your Bible, think about God, praise Him. In so doing, you’ll be able to sense His presence more frequently and not feel alone. I have found sensing God’s presence is my most effective defense against loneliness.
To summarize we can simply say…
Get your eyes off yourself!
So my friends, whatever the cause of your loneliness, if you employ these principles you may have occasional visits of feeling lonely, but you won’t live there!
I’ve written many resources that will help you in this area. Check them out.
Key Resource
10 Tips to Increase Your Awareness of God’s Presence
Other Helpful Resources
Precious in His Sight: Seeing Yourself as God Does Paperback
Of Great Worth in the Gardener’s Eyes
On My Father’s Lap: Drawing Near to Your Father in Heaven
1David Jeremiah Overcoming Loneliness p 107
Scripture taken from The Holy Bible: New International Version®. NIV. ® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.